Pressures to compete and succeed can sometimes be discouraging. One evening when I was struggling with such feelings, I wrote this in my journal: I鈥檓 going through a period of doubt in my skills and talents and my capacity to have a vision for my life. I never feel good enough lately. It feels like I鈥檓 supposed to save the world and am failing to do so. Why do I believe I must become some kind of superwoman before I allow myself to respect and validate myself?
Can you relate?
Society often teaches us that we need to earn a sense of acceptance and worth by accumulating achievements. Meritocracy, the idea that the best, brightest, and most hard-working rise to the top to enjoy the most praise, admiration, and rewards (including money), is one of the most common frameworks for defining success and the good life that we鈥檙e exposed to. Because it鈥檚 the water we swim in, we often don鈥檛 recognize all the assumptions meritocracy brings with it, and the ways they can harm us. The pressures of meritocracy wear on us, and when this happens, we can challenge and counterbalance them with other ways of seeing and experiencing ourselves and the world.
One way we can do this is to recognize how meritocratic thinking is oversimplified. Life and the various systems around us don鈥檛 consistently reward those who are talented or hardworking with status or opportunities. Chance, inequalities and injustices abound. Meritocratic thinking can be objectifying or dehumanizing, especially to those who are most marginalized, some of whom, it would appear, have "not worked hard enough" or "were not smart or talented enough" to earn basic comforts, including shelter. We can resist such absurd perspectives of people, dignity, and worth.
Another way to counterbalance meritocracy is drawing on the wisdom of faith traditions. There is no sacred text that will teach you that the purpose of life is coming out on top, getting a prestigious job, having a high salary, or pursuing luxury and convenience. Sacred texts suggest that we have no need to hustle for worthiness, and that the things really worth pursuing include kindness, connection, compassionate service, transformation, awe, learning, moral courage, wisdom, healing, and peace. Faith traditions warn against social hierarchies, inequality, pride, and greed, actively overturning values meritocracy tends to entrench us in. They also teach that humility, getting in touch with sorrow, and recognizing our weaknesses help us become wise and resilient. Such frameworks can be a powerful antidote for a blue day when you or are feel like we'll never measure up
There are other ways faith and spirituality can help us stave off shame, discouragement and negative thoughts. Western culture would teach us to spend much of our time in our heads trying to solve problems. We can get pretty disconnected from our bodies and caught up in negative thoughts about both ourselves and the world. Spiritual practices such as meditation, yoga and breathing exercises (pranayama), Qigong, nature walks, prayer, contemplation, music, visual arts and crafts, communal meals, etc. get us out of our heads and into more peaceful and attuned, fully embodied states.
Integrating such practice into our routines can make an immense difference. They can transform us in ways small or big. We can gain a greater sense of wholeness, calm, and peace. We鈥檙e more in tune with when we need to rest, sleep, move, play, or connect with others. Our perspective becomes more long-term and patient. We feel less in competition with other people and living things. As a common yoga mantra expresses, we come to desire for all living things to be 鈥渉appy and free from suffering,鈥� and to have their needs met. We can find relief from self-criticism and feelings of never being enough. Spiritual practices can also help us to recognize that it鈥檚 not actually about the grandeur of what we鈥檙e involved in because the smallest acts of kindness matter. Each time we bring thoughtfulness to a relationship, encourage another person, make a meal for someone we鈥檙e caring for, or put in volunteer hours, we are contributing to a better and more humane world in important ways.
Faith and spirituality also open the door to life in general being about more than what is tangible, visible, and quantifiable (such as success or status). Even just the possibility that existence could be more mysterious and deep than it seems on the surface level can give us access to expanded mental and emotional breathing room. The spiritual helps make it more possible for us to trust that it鈥檚 not all about achievements, exam scores, work hours, job titles, or impressing others, and that these things aren鈥檛 the central purpose of life.
Our educations and work lives can help us experience genuine growth and gain skills and talents that bring us joy and have real value. These things empower us to make positive contributions to others, reach toward our potential, and provide for ourselves and our families. Spirituality and religion can help us discern that when we value education and work for the sake of doing good and meeting real needs, this is different from believing that to be worthwhile humans, we must seek to accumulate more wealth or status than others. They can help us decide what really matters to us, what we stand for, and what values are worth investing our hearts in.
I hope these ideas offer some food for thought, inspiration, and relief. Meritocratic thinking and pressures abound, and we all need some spiritual support enduring, questioning, and resisting this 馃檪
听
